Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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