hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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