ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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