We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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