he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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