Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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