I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm like, not good at living.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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