you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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