the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
