The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
