I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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