is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
