It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
