scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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