Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
