ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
