Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
