Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
