You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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