so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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