she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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