You're so nebulous sometimes
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
