so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
