Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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