Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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