I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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