How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
