brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
