I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
