i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
