You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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