5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I DEMAND FORESKIN
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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