Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
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He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
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He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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