hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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