the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
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I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
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You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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