everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
