tell your sister to shave her snatch
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
