21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
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