So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
