Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
