He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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