I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
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So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
how drunk are you?
Several
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize