is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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