worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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