It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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