I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
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I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
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i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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