some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
