ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
there is glitter all over my balls
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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