weddingsv make me drug and hornr
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
