Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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