I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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