I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
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I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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