This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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