Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
foreskin is a definite game changer
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
