i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
