Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
